Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What's Up With the Doc 30? - Giving Thanks

Sorry to be mostly absent. Between my non-cancer related neck pain and my Tarceva-related nausea I'm only at about 75% these days. I see the doctor on Tuesday, at which point we'll do liver function tests and schedule a scan for the 16th of December. If the liver function tests are up that will be enough information for me to get off the Tarceva and move on to third line therapy (probably Alimta). If the liver function tests are OK we'll wait to see the scan results on the 16th. If the scan is good I'll deal with the nausea. I just called for more Kytril samples - it seems to work pretty well for me. I wish there were as easy a partial fix for the darned neck pain.

My family all know that Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday since I was a little kid. It’s all about family and food without any commercial ties. I torture my family every year by forcing everyone to say at least one thing they are thankful for before they dig in to all the goodies at the dinner table. Although this is my first Thanksgiving with lung cancer, I find that I have a very long list of blessings for which I would like to give thanks.

I am thankful for my eldest daughter - beautiful, creative, talented, smart and devoted to her parents. She stands up for me when I don’t stand up for myself and finds ways to show love and care even during the times I don’t need it.

I am thankful for my #2 daughter - beautiful, doggedly persistent, smart and my science buddy. We have been through the mill together as mother and daughter and I am grateful to her for grasping the reins of her life and following her dream.

I am thankful for my #3 daughter - beautiful, wicked smart, athletically gifted and bossy as all get out. I get such joy out of watching her very willfully build her life and I am very grateful that she lets me watch, rather than pushing me away as I did my mother.

I am thankful for my son - tall, smart, funny and so very affectionate. He’s just really starting to show the first glimmers of what his independent adult self will be all about and I think he is going to be such a good man.

I am thankful for my husband - smart, funny, and with more integrity than any other human I’ve ever known. His devotion to and care for me are a comfort and delight and his children have brought immeasurable grace into my life.

I am thankful for my mother - she who led by example the way to being an independent and capable woman as well as a loving and supportive mother.

I am thankful for my siblings who share my history and my future, who love me and my children, who understand that love is immortal, even if the physical being is not.

I am thankful for my oncologist, who listens and considers and does the give and take necessary in doctoring a doctor better than I ever could.

I am thankful for the fact that there are treatment options available for my cancer.

I am thankful for the entire community that provides support to me - my family, friends, and coworkers both in the flesh and in cyberspace - and all the good thoughts and prayers and hopes that they offer to the universe on my behalf.

And I am unspeakably thankful to have this day and every day that I wake up and see the sky; each perfect day that is now a gift that might not have been.

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